karismar

I talked earlier about needing to be better at rituals and ceremony but after I’ve thought about it some more I think that’s wrong. It’s not the rituals or the ceremony that I need or want but a deeper connection. Rituals are what I fled the evangelical church for, amongst many other horrors but funny how it still grabs hold of me now and then. Ceremonies can beautiful and affirming for any pagan or witch but I am more of a solitary pagan and to be honest, I don’t want the ceremony. BUT, I do need something that I’m missing. I’ll know it when it finds me, that’s usually how it works for me.

Saturday is the new moon which means I can plant my seeds on Sunday. yay!  It’s far too cold for direct sow but this will give them a nice start in the indoor flats. This is always a magical time for me as I begin to see new beginnings take root and all that spring and summer have to offer. It’s like a gift waiting to unfold right in front of me.

My time spent on my spiritual path has been lacking, more so in formality than anything else. It’s right here, deep inside my head but I know I need to spend more time in meditation and good old fashioned ceremony. A sweet little shop awaits me just downtown filled with encouragement……candles, stones, crystals, readings……. all there just waiting to help connect me with mother nature, the goddesses and even father time.  My hopes are high to accomplish a lot this weekend but I know I can’t expect much if I don’t put forth the effort.

I’m very interested in how each of you stay connected to our earth and goddesses so please let me know what you’ve been finding helpful…… 

Sundays have always been a difficult day for me. So many very bad memories from my evangelical christian upbringing smack me in gut every so often, and always on a Sunday. Each Sunday held little chance of any happiness but always a sense of doom. I was always fearful of dying from the rapture and going to hell as this was their tactic……fear.  Placing fear in others gave them power and control over me as I was too god damn afraid to do anything other than what they said. This fear stayed with me well into my early 20’s until the birth of my first child. It was then that I began to see that somewhere was an escape from it all. I had already left the church but I’m talking about that power that they still had over my emotions and mind. It wasn’t until my late 30’s that I found the mental escape completely without the guilt.  Now at 40 I have found a wonderful therapist who is helping me dig out from the fallout from it all and from my horrid childhood and presenting the church and my parents to me in the true light that they are……absolutely wretched. It’s really a welcome relief to me and she has given me so many answers to "why".  I spoke of my pagan pulling and desires, even as a very young child and she told me it was my pagan soul that saved my life as I should not have come out my childhood in one piece. As I’ve nurtured this life I have I’ve noticed my sad Sundays have turned into something entirely different filled with beautiful moments with my family, long sloppy mornings pouring over coffee and newspapers and days filled with movies, good books and laughter.  Often our best of friends stop over and enjoy a bottle of wine with us and sometimes it’s strolling through the neighborhood. The beauty of life is the recovery that it offers.

Steph sent this my way and I couldn’t help but join in!  take a look, this looks like a nice addition to the pagan community.

http://witchwoman.covenspace.com

http://covenspace.com