karismar

When I was younger I couldn’t wait to leave jr. high and high school, mostly from the intense gossiping and lashing out between people. I thought it didn’t exist to that extent in adulthood, boy was I wrong. I love my neighborhood and most of the neighbors are great but there are a few who are as vicious as adolescents!  How are we to ever achieve peace in the world if we can’t find it on our doorstep?  Peace should ALWAYS be the first goal and when it is, the small, insignificant details lose their appeal. Differences are what make us unique and wonderful. To be alike and same same same is very narrowminded and really quite boring. Hating someone because they are awkward and socially lacking in skills is not ok. When we find someone in our path who isn’t easy to be around we must reach out to them and include them. Show them they are accepted and loved and the nurturing begins. We do not know where each of us has been and what we’ve gone through that has brought us to who we are now. Many difficulties could have crossed our paths with no one reaching out to love and nurture. I only want to be peace and love to others and hope I never lose sight of that.

So, I have been eliminating white flour, sugar and the likes for what, 3 weeks or so and for the most part have done very well. But as a cook and baker there comes a time when I just can’t keep myself from it. This morning I caved! I made homemade cinnamon rolls for everyone. It’s been rainy, dark and dreary and I like to give my family a little comfort food every now and then. They were delicious and so was the time we all had at the table, making a connection before everyone leaves for the day. I did take our dog on a 40 minute walk after breakfast…..does that count???

Yesterday I spent the day tackling inside chores. It was very rainy, dark and gloomy outside and I had a deep pull to stay indoors. The very large pile that has been growing since the holidays was tackled and everything put in it’s rightful place. ahh, organization, I love it!  I gave the basement a good sweep through and although it still needs more attention, it is much better.  Furniture had been moved a few months ago and the "I’ll get to that box later" fallout was also tackled and conquered. You know, papers, books, little gadgets that all have a home had been tossed into this box. I don’t like to have that atmosphere here and usually don’t but when change happens during the busy holiday season, I tend to place it aside until the new year. For several months I have been going through cabinets, drawers, armoires, desks, etc…determining between what we need/use and what we’re holding onto for no good reason. So, many bags have been sent to the local charities, freecycle and friends who can use unused pieces of furniture.

Today is as dreary out as yesterday with more rainfall. I’ll be inside ironing, cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming. There is something about keeping my home that really fills me with happiness. I know, those chores are mundane and tedius but I find a strong joy in it all. I read a book several years ago titled "Home Comforts, The Art & Science of Keeping Home" and it fed my spirit. For anyone who loves home, I encourage you to read this book.  In fact, I think I may pull it off the shelf and give it another read.

Every south facing window sill in this house is covered in seed starts. I’m fortunate to have my kitchen window, french doors and bedroom all facing south. Not an abundance of space to place the trays and containers but it works.  After some reading about grow lights I’ve decided that my seeds need a more grown up start to their lives. Unfortunately, the cost of grow lights is not in my budget at the moment(child #2 is off to college in the fall!)so I’m doing an alternative method. This old house has a few ceiling lights with direct bulbs, meaning they face downwards so I figured I could buy compact fluorescent bulbs and set up make-shift grow lights. One is above a tall armoire in my bedroom so I get the heighth I need to have the seeds 2 in. from the light and the other is in the basement over a tall 5shelf rack.  Not your usual "decor" but it’s only for a short time and my guy is very supportive of my "endeavors", crazy as they may seem to others. I’ve grown my garden from seeds for as long as I can remember but never gone this route before. As I continue to pursue a year-round garden I expect to slowly set up a greenhouse of sorts, at the very least I will have several  growlights in the garage and/or basement.

Happy Spring Equinox everyone!  It actually was last night at 5pm PT but I didn’t make it on here to celebrate. Absolutely one of the best times of the year but if you know me, I’ll be shouting that come harvest too!  lol   So to all of you out there, I hope this new season brings you healing, rebirth and new hope for all that is happening in your life.

I’ve been at this change in lifestyle for a week now and it is slow going. I’m drinking more water, have had ice cream only once and no other flour, sugar, bad carbs etc. Taking vitamins everyday and have walked 3X this week. Not incredibly long walks but I am out there and moving. Apparently only walking once a week to town does not equal enough exercise! lol

I have been researching so much on the web about natural and healthy alternatives to basicly nothing I received from the dr. Come to find out that large doses of antibiotics can destroy your stomach and wreak havoc all over. I’ve always been very healthy and only had antibiotics once, ever until 4 1/2years ago. It was labor day weekend and a stabbing pain entered my right foot and never left. I went to several doctors and they all said I had gout. I kept telling them it felt infected but my white blood cell count was never elevated so they didn’t believe me. So, for the next 6 weeks I layed on the sofa and nearly died. I could not walk, only getting around on an office chair…thankfully we had hardwood floors! I was sick, dizzy and bagan passing out. The pain was so bad I stopped drinking so I wouldn’t have to go pee. My husband didn’t know what to do and did all that he could but it was my lifelong friend who had had enough and came to get me. She and my neighbor had to dress me and I didn’t have the strength to walk from the sofa to the front door and passed out again. She called 911. The er wasn’t even looking at my foot, only my dehydration. They sent in a social worker, thinking I was depressed. what the fuck, I was in pain, not depressed! Anyway, I was ready to be discharged when this amazing female doctor came by and overhead my friend, husband and I talking about the psoriosis sore by my foot and how I just knew it was the point of infection. She grabbed my chart, looked at my foot and had me diagnosed in 3 minutes! Staph infection. Major bummer. Had me scheduled for surgery in 5! The infection had been neglected for so long that it ate away the entire row of bones across my foot. There would be no scraping of the bone as there was none to scrape. I had 3 surgeries in a 2month period of time and was told before the first surgery that I would probably lose my foot. Well, I didn’t. I had an amazing doctor who specialized in orthopedic surgery who was called in to look at me. He is the orthopedic surgeon for the Portland Trailblazers so I knew I was in good care. He took me as his patient, gave me a new product in my foot that generates bone growth in the last surgery and sent me home to get well, going in every week for him to monitor me. But I had to have a central line put in with 3Xdaily antibiotics. Now I believe I’m dealing with the fallout from the meds. They saved my life and I am so grateful but they have messed up my gut. I believe I can heal from this too, it will just take a little time. And now you all know about that chapter of my life that changed my world forever.

this is what I wish for…..size XLarge please

today was 60degrees and warm and where was I? Outside of course hauling newly delivered organic soil to my garden beds  Both beds have been weeded and filled with more soil for ammending. I still have plenty of soil to use for the "soon to be built" beds but they may have to wait. So many other projects need our attention and money. I don’t need a box to make a raised bed anyway, just use some bricks or stones for the layout and the soil will do the rest.  We noticed the fence on one side of the lot is leaning and after some investigating, K found the posts in the ground without any cement! Whomever put the fence in before we bought this place did a horrible job. Now all of the posts are rotting.  But, no complaints as I’m just thankful we have this great old house and the yards. 

I took some time to just "be" out in the gardens today. It was delicious to just sit and soak it all in. The warm air on my face took me to summer when the birds are singing and the berries are ripe.  The time outside was something I had to make myself do today. I’ve been really tired from the early time change and haven’t wanted to get out of bed so early this week…..but there are animals to feed and kids to feed and make lunches for. Good thing too, if it was just me I’d be in that bed until 8am!

As a follower of gardening by the moon, this is the week to do the work in the garden. No planting, no harvesting(not like there is anything to harvest!) I have raised beds to clean out and new soil to transfer in. K built me a gothic fence around the garden to keep unwanted visitors at bay. I couldn’t be happier about it. Too much of my time and effort has been destroyed in the past. The back porch was finished yesterday and now it just needs some lattice trim on the side. Sometime in May when we get one of our famous "summer weeks" I’ll paint it and seal it up.

I’m considering moving herbs up from the garden and closer to the kitchen. I’ve thought about building a brick box of sorts, with recycled bricks to grow a new herb garden in. Haven’t finalized those plans but I feel a strong push towards it.

We had a sweep of warm, humid air yesterday and last night. It was nearly 70degrees and the windows had to be open all night. Unfortunately, this morning when I opened the cupboard for some coffee beans there was water on the shelves. I looked up and saw a water stain…..UGHH     The upstairs bathroom is directly above the kitchen but I could find no evidence of a leak anywhere.  It rained last night and I think water came in through the very large, old window up there.  Hopefully this is the end of the leak. We’re not prepared to put in a new window right now.

I’m a little freaked out at the moment. I had an ultrasound done Saturday looking at my gallbladder, liver, etc since I’m still having some digestion issues. Today in the mail arrived a note from the dr. saying they think I passed a gallstone earlier(that would explain the pain and feeling faint!) but no evidence of any now. But that I have fatty infiltration of the liver. gah!  After much online research I’ve found that I fit the profile. Overweight, difficulty losing weight, lack of water intake, lack of exercise, and far too many carbohydrates in the form of pasta, white flour, sugar, cake, cookies, ice cream, shall I go on? Now I cook and eat plenty of good food but this is from the past 15yrs when I didn’t… thought I did when it was happening. Remember when pasta was supposed to be sooooooo good for you?!  I’m also just awful at taking my vitamins daily but started about 15days ago and am doing well with them. Now I need to focus on treatments for my liver, including milk thistle which has sat in the cupboard for weeks! Ok, so I get it. This is a kick in the ass that I needed to drop the weight and get active. 

anyone else out there have any issues like this and what have you done to fix it?